Today, I came across a tweet from awesome Boston-based fast food chain B.good. They had a simple contest to win a pack of bacon. Yes, that’s right, bacon. The only requirement for entry was writing on their Facebook wall, giving them a good reason why you deserve some of their bacon. I was inspired and entered the following:

“Bacon. Where do I start? The crunchy (or chewy!) goodness, the everything ever. A few years ago, I was a vegetarian. It was a dark time in my life. Granted, I didn’t eat quite as balanced and healthfully as I should have, but those five years were a sad state of affairs. Then I started college. Along with the many changes and existential improvements that stereotypically parallel a young man or woman’s time in university came the time that I shed my ovo-lacto hell. It started slowly, reinstating my acceptance of grilled chicken, smoked salmon and other basic meats. Gradually, I increased my animal consumption until one fateful day at a 6pm brunch. My dear friend Anna decided it was high time that I pop my lingering bacon cherry. I watched her skillfully place the bacon in a pan, letting it sizzle gently, then furiously! She set the smoky goodness on a pad of paper towels and resourcefully poured the grease into a mason jar for later use (smart, huh?). Then came the bacon. It was perfect. It was everything I had ever hoped and dream of in my budding adventures of animal consumption. Since that day in September, I have become a bacon connoisseur. I have yet to try b.good’s bacon; will it measure up to the goodness I’ve consumed in the past six months?

TL;DR: can I get some bacon please?”

I’m not sure what this says about me, but wish me luck.